Essay Question

I applied to UW Fox Valley again today in hopes of going back to school next summer. In the application, I had to write a short essay answering this question:
The University values an educational environment that provides all member of the campus community with opportunities to grow and develop intellectually, personally, culturally and socially. In order to give us a more complete picture of you as an individual, please tell us about the particular life experiences, perspectives, talents, commitments and/or interests you will bring to our campus. In other words, how will your presence enrich our community?

Here is what I wrote:

"Desire to receive education in its many forms has been a constant goal as I have grown from youth to adulthood. I have sought opportunities to learn throughout my time spent as a home schooled student, to my transition to attending high school full time, to finally entering the work force after high school. These experiences have helped to mold my character and to be a source of strength in all aspects of my life. They have taught me what it means to be a valuable part of a team and how to work together to resolve conflict and accomplish great things. I find extraordinary value in sharing and gleaning information from those around me and then trying my best to respectfully add to the topic at hand.

For example, a couple of years ago, I took an economics class at UW Fox Valley. Upon entering the classroom at the start of the semester, I sat down next to a woman with whom I would become close partners with, as we strived to understand the concepts being taught to us by Mr. Taheri. Because of the relationship that we built during that class, our perspectives were enlarged, and our minds able to comprehend things that would have been more difficult without the input of the other person. As the semester rolled out, our school relationship turned into a friendship full of respect and care for the other. Creating friendships such as this one is one of the highlights of working together to gain knowledge. It builds camaraderie between two or more people that extends beyond the classroom. A camaraderie that can last a lifetime.

As I reflect on this and other experiences, I am reminded that knowledge and wisdom are not to be kept to oneself. There is no happiness found in hiding ones talents and treasures. On the contrary, there is joy in sharing those precious gifts to aid, enlighten, or simply uplift the one on the receiving end. Such joy I have felt and look forward to feeling again as I continue my quest for education."

What do you think??